bugs

I friggen hate them.
I hate all of them.
Every last one.
The big ones, the little ones
The flying ones, the crawling ones
The ones that sting, the ones that don't
Yup.
That's me.
I'm a bug-hater.

Yes, I know they are important
Blah blah blah blah blah
Yes, I know that some of them are our 'friends'
Yada yada yada
Don't care.
I hate 'em.

Although I've never gotten stung or anything
And I have never gotten a mosquito bite
Ever in my life
(Yes, I'm serious)
They sit on me
I can see their little blood-suckin-stingers
"Checking' my skin surface
Then they just fly away
My mother hasn't either
Strange, but true.

I can beat Marion Jones in a race
The moment a bee/wasp/hornet comes around me
My husband says I do cartwheels across the yard
When one comes by
Funny thing is,
I can't do a cartwheel

Never been stung though
Knock on wood
What makes me uncomfortable
Is the fact that you don't know you are allergic
Until AFTER the fact.
Not comfortable with that, thanks.

"Why are you moving to the country
If you hate bugs?"
Is the question I've been hearing over and over.
And I never have an answer
I'll live, I say.

Unless of course I get stung and I'm allergic.