the red bullseye

I am very happy to be Canadian.

Proud of our heritage.
Proud of our music.
Proud of our laws.
Proud of our people.
Proud that even though we are small in numbers
We are big in heart.
We are humble and unassuming.
We are kind and well-mannered
But most of all
We are tolerant...

Tolerant, yes, but ENOUGH is ENOUGH....

WHEN are we going to have 'Target' cross the border
And open up one of its red bullseye stores up HERE?!?!?!?

What is the hold-up?

Don't they see the shopaholic Canuckies
Crossing borders in huge numbers
Walking through their doors?

Don't they notice us at the check-out counters
Pulling out our wads of coloured money??
They know who we are.
There is no denying it.
They know who we are from our
"Nice out there today, EH?"

I have come to accept many things being Canadian.
I have come to accept the fact that
We will NEVER be able to buy a box of Nutter Butter cookies up here.
WE will NEVER be able to buy a "Whatchamacallit" or a "PB Max" chocolate bar up here.
We will NEVER be able to watch HBO or Showtime unless we buy DirectTv illegally.
We will NEVER be able to watch the awesome commercials during the Super Bowl.

These things I am fine with.
It took me awhile,
But I am fine with them now.

But I am not dropping the Target-thing.
Not on your life.
I am starting a crusade.
I am starting it this week

As I trek to Michigan to "visit friends just north of Detroit"...
(That's code for "I'm going to drop a tonne of cash at Target, Mr. Customs Officer")

I'm going to make it known to everyone in there
Wearing a red golf shirt
That, as Canadians, we can't take it anymore.
We can't take the fact that we can see their commercials,
But not visit their stores whever we want.
We can't take the fact that I can look at their website
And get all worked up about selection and prices
But "at this time, we don't ship to Canada or Guam"
(WTF is that, anyway?!?!?)

We don't want your jobs.
We don't want your money.
We don't want your celebrities
We have our own
(By the way, you guys can keep Alan Thicke and Alex Trebek, but we want Mike Myers, Celine and Shania back)
And we certainly don't want your leader..

We just want your red bullseye, eh?